How can I help my step daughter deal with the loss of her mother?

if she has a morbid interest in the process of dying, nix the horror films and take her to a funeral home. sometimes, a funeral director will allow a child to walk through, explain the entire process from the autopsy to the burial. we went to one when I was in junior high with the youth group from church. then ask her to sit down and talk about it. don't push yourself on her, but tell her you will be there for her if she wants to talk. she definitely needs grief counseling. research the kind of cancer her mom had, and try to explain it to her. pull it up on the internet. a lot of the research will either show pictures or explain the processes that happen to a person. being that she lost her mother at a young age and can remember what happened, she is older emotionally than she would be without. when she starts asking questions about it, help her find all of the answers you can. also, look into community organizations, no charge groups, who hold bereavement meetings. this may help her if she can get together with other people, even adults, who have experienced loss. she may be able to tell them things that she can't tell you. if you can find a group, ask if you could be allowed to wait outside. she may feel more welcomed and open up to them without you there. you might be too close to the situation for her to open up to you. hope this helps. good luck!